Scary Close
Honesty moment: I don’t really know how Book Club is going to work yet. Ever the meticulous student I started to write a book report. You don’t care about that, I don’t care about that. Nobody is going to be grading this. Unless you feel the need to give me a sticker for a job well done. Please always feel welcome to do that. But for now...here we are…
I built a career around managing and maintaining relationships, it’s what I do best. In sales, client management, project management, being able to building productive relationships is the key to success. When people know you care about them and will go to bat for them, they’re more willing to help you out when you need it. I’m good at relationships, except...maybe...I’m not. Last month Drew suggested I read “Scary Close” by Donald Miller, a book about dropping the act we create and finding true intimacy in relationships. While I love a good book recommendation this one created a moment of panic, “wait, are you implying I’m NOT GOOD AT RELATIONSHIPS?!” As I dove into the book, most of which was read during one afternoon hammock session, I realized Miller and I had a lot similarities. While we’re both good at relationships we weren’t using our authentic selves to create real, intimate relationships.
High Level It For Me.
Relationships, by nature are hard. They are made infinitely more difficult when you aren’t being yourself in those relationships. By dropping the act and going into a relationship with our most honest intentions, realizing it will be work, we have the best chance of success.
Highlighted It. (i.e. quotes that resonated with me)
Sometimes the story we’re telling the world isn’t half as endearing as the one that lives inside us.
Love can’t be earned, it can only be given. And it can only be exchanged by people who are completely true with each other.
...makes me wonder if the time we spend trying to become somebody people will love isn’t wasted because the most powerful, most attractive person we can be is who we already are…
The more we fully live into ourselves, the more impact we will have.
...I’m starting to wonder if that’s not the whole point of life, to be thankful for it and to live in such a way others are thankful for theirs as well.
Should I read this?
In the interest of authenticity I will say this book isn’t for everyone. There are strong religious tones, if that isn’t your jam...you aren’t going to love this. On the other hand, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s a good read if you’re feeling stagnant in your relationships and want a deeper connection, or haven’t been able to make that connection in the past.
Lessons Learned.
I always thought and have always been told I’m good at relationships. In a professional sense, I am. I will bend over backward, anticipate every need, and make sure everything is seamlessly in place for a client. In real life relationships, that doesn’t work. It isn’t sustainable or healthy. Relationships can be successful when two individuals decide to do the life thing together, be it was friends or as partners, not as halves of a whole each depending on the other for success.
